Here vs. There

I think I may have finally figured out why I don't like international traveling. I've known I don't like international travel for a while. For a long time, I never considered it, since it wasn't an option. Even now, it's not really an option since, hey, expensive, but there are far more opportunities in medical school then there were in college or earlier. But...I've never been tempted. Not at all. There's an opportunity to go to Honduras for one of the clinical rotations next year, but *click* that e-mail went right into the deleted folder.

But, I think I just figured it out. It's complicated and I'm not quite sure that it all makes sense. I can see part of the reason, but I haven't followed it all the way to its end yet. I might just be irrational. Part of it is that I don't like being a tourist. I find it intrusive and in a lot of ways, obnoxious. I hate tourist culture. I think that's why I loved the West so much. Yeah, there was touristy type stuff, but it wasn't in-your-face, people everywhere, pointing and buying terrible food and novelty t-shirts. Okay, well, maybe at Old Faithful in Yellowstone...but we had to go there...it was required.

The larger part has to do with culture though. I don't like invading other people's culture. I don't like the diluted version that would be available to someone like me. I want to learn something about my own culture, if I travel. I think going West did that. I think going North will do that again. Yes, there are many beautiful places to see in the world. But there are beautiful places here too, and I'd rather quietly contemplate them, than fuss with going overseas to some country where I'm a stranger. There's a benefit to learning about other cultures, but I'm not sure you can do it in a short trip. Maybe a 1+ years abroad, but I don't have that kind of time.

And now I'm really behind on my self-imposed endo studying schedule. Shoot. If I was brave, I'd discuss this with internationally oriented people here (*cough* A.) but I don't think it'd go over well.

Cars

So, my car has needed four services in the last four months. True, one was an annual checkup, but it still cost me $100. This is my cue to start looking at new cars. Now, I favor small hybrids (even if I could afford an Accord, I would still want a Civic) and small hatchbacks. The Honda Fit, Toyota Yaris, heck, maybe even the Scion xA hatchback. I like these cars and they're good for city driving.

But, then I was thinking - how long am I going to be in the city? I don't want to take on a car payment while I'm still accumulating debt, so my Volvo has to last another two years. Then I'll probably stay in an East-Coast city for my residency. That's three years, and maybe another two for my residency. Based on that, I can justified finding a gently used hybrid or hatchback.

It's the part after my training, when I'm actually looking for a job and to start a career, that things get sticky. I honestly think I'm going to end up out west - or possibly farther North. I'm considering trying for a rotation in Alaska now. And, I can really see myself settling there. I *miss* Montana. A lot. I think about it often and I want to go back. It's so beautiful and I think I'm well suited to living there. Except for the bitter cold, but hell, twenty-five+ years of training and I ought to be able to afford a decent winter coat. You know, something with down.

If I end up out there, a little hatchback or hybrid is not only going to be impractical for the terrain, but impractical to repair. Hybrid technology will be slow to reach the Mountain areas. Hybrids are good for stop and go driving. Montana has a posted speed limit of 80mph, because the distances are so great. I'm not anticipating the mechanics of the region will jump on the hybrid bandwagon for a long time. I'd probably have to get a small SUV with 4 wheel drive.

So, I'll either just bite the bullet and keep the Volvo all through my training. Or get a small car and then sell it after 3-5 years. I probably could keep the Volvo. I'll probably be relying on public transportation through my training. Or driving short distances. Driving in many cities is a pretty stupid thing to do, although a lot of cities lack a decent infrastructure.

Heh, I really think I'm going to end up out West though.

Staircases

My bathroom smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Which is odd, for a couple of reasons.

1)Three of the fours walls face the rest of my apartment or the staircase.
2)There aren't any ducts in my bathroom.
3)The rest of my apartment smells fine.

Maybe it's just me.

I otherwise love my apartment. It is very cosy and I like the small size. I know exactly where everything is (okay, everything but one my knee guards. That could be anywhere.) and I have just enough space to move freely. I wouldn't mind having a staircase, but I don't actually want another room.

oh boy, lymphomas.

I've already forgotten my username and password for this site. Luckily, my computer appears to have memorized it, but we'll see how long that lasts. I have a crazy number of usernames and passwords at this point. I still tend to use variations on the same two words, but my usernames have radically changed and it's becoming a bit problematic. I actually had to call techsupport at the hospital the other day because I found a username and password and couldn't figure out what they were for. Actually, I was calling them for something else (new software installation - I don't have admin priviledges in the hospital system) and I asked them while they were on the phone with me. Still - that's pretty bad.

Today was a bit of a trainwreck. I hate, hate, hate driving in Pittsburgh. And I hate driving in Pittsburgh when I don't know where I'm going. So, this afternoon was very frustrating and I actually missed my dental appointment. Joy. I didn't get to run with Riley or go to the bank either, so the day was essentually a failure.

On the up side, I've 'discovered' Chris Thile and I love him. Wish they were coming to Pittsburgh.

I feel restless.

Okay, serious update

The tough thing about blogging, at least to me, is that once you get out of the habit of writing it's hard to get back into it. I blog because I want to have a record of what periods of my life were like. So, when I stop, I'm not sure where to begin.

Anyway, we're in hematology. The previous blocks have gone well - I haven't been in danger of failing any of them. Boards are rapidly approaching. I just brought four more books from a third year - she was really nice and threw in two more for free. I think I'll have all the major subject areas covered with this purchase.

I'm finding it difficult to seriously start studying because I still have classes. The current material is, afterall, fair game for the boards. So, it's not like I'm totally wasting my time. I feel like I should be starting to review though. I think I'm going to aim for a 210-220. That appears to be the fat part of the bell curve. I hope I don't look back at that sentence in a few months and snort bitterly.

I'm very happy with my life at the moment. My apartment finally feel like home - I got my first junk mail last week. I rearranged everything last weekend and I have stores of stuff. I know that's kind of an odd gauge of home - but in the past I never had a space of my own to store extra food or tin foil or toiletries. Or had guest pillow and sheets.

More importantly, I feel like I have good friends here and that I am somewhat tied to my class. I love my people here and I feel safe. I'm not terribly connected to the class, but I sort of know what is going on. That counts for something, I suppose.

I'm starting to consider the next race. I don't think I need to start training again until February, but I maintain a basal level of fitness that never really changes. I ran nine miles today, just because.

I like hematology too, which I never really expected. Weird, huh?

You know it's been a long time when

You can't remember your username, password and your computer has deleted them. Ouch.

I don't have time for a proper update. But now I have my username and password!